The Redwall Sues Book I: The Start of it All
by FresianRoses
Summary: Lunarraii Moonlit the beautiful takes steps to make her dream world of perfection real. And one of those steps includes taking over Redwall Abbey. Chaos ensues, and the SueRidder Redwin must help rid the lands of Lunarraii and her sue army. Who will win?
1. The Beginning

Hello everyone! My first Sue parody, and I hope you like it. Remember, just a parody, not to be taken seriously! Please, PLEASE read and review! Enjoy!

The Redwall Sues Book I: The Start Of It All

Chapter I

The Beginning

Or

Lunarraii Moonlit Starrlyte Nytesky

Redwin, a young red squirrel, banged her head on the table as her mentor, another red squirrel named Branche read aloud a Suefic. She rubbed her head, blinking her slightly crossed eyes. "Aarghh! Is it worth going through this to be a Sueridder? IS this endless readings of these Suefics going to make me a good Sueridder?"

Branche sighed, drumming her paw on the table. "You haven't even started dealing with them. You need to _learn _about them to understand their ways. "

Redwin nodded. To be a Sueridder meant to rid all places of unrealistically perfect Mary Sues.

The young squirrel sighed. "Okay, I'm ready now, you can continue." Branche went back to reading the Suefic.

Meanwhile, deep in Mossflower, a pretty young squirrel was dancing along, singing in a beautiful clear voice. But she was no ordinary squirrel.

She was extraordinarily beautiful.

Her richly colored obsidian coat gleamed in the sun, shining and rippling, her tiny delicate paws holding a pink rose. She had glistening tiny pointed ears, her tail was shimmery and extremely fluffy, like a misty blue black cloud, and her eyes, though they were huge, did not look in any way disproportionate, and they were a rich, clear blue that rivaled a pure night sky. Her deep blue eyes sparkled with trillions of lights like stars and diamonds, and they glittered softly.

She was...

A Mary Sue.

Her name was…

Lunarraii Moonlit Starrlyte Nytesky Moonbeauty Silverpaw Lytestarr Bleunyte Darkjewel Cloudtail Sparkleye Daarluna Midnyte. Yep, that's all there is to it. Fancy memorizing it, anyone?

She was in Mossflower. The birds, with a glazed, overly tame look in their eyes, fluttered down to place flowers in her headfur, with rippled and flowed like silk. Then the birds would fly back to their nests to recover from the Sue-spell.

The Sue danced and sang the poor birds from their trees, and the birds would come down and place _more _flowers in her headfur. Then, even more dazed than before, they would fly back to their nests to recover.

Let's hope the Sue doesn't find Redwall. They have suffered enough. You'll know what I mean if you read the Redwall Sue parodies.

Redwin and Branche had finished the reading of the Suefic, and were thoroughly sickened, but Branche less than Redwin. Redwin banged her head on the table to clear it, and Branche looked on. "I guess it could help shake off the Sue-spell, but you'll be bruised by the end of the day."

Redwin lifted her face, and said, "There aren't _more, _there can't be!"

Branche shook her head. "No more, you're free now."

The young squirrel left, glad to be finished with the Suefic.

Lunarraii Moonlit Starrlyte Nytesky sat daintily beneath a tree, once again singing dazed birds from the trees. The Sue had her plans. To make all as perfect and beautiful as she. She of the perfect form, willowy and graceful, she of the slender frame and moonlight tinted eyes, she of the rippling fur. All must be as good and pure as she!

After she was done with the birds, (who were now in their nests, attempting to rid their suddenly much too tame minds of the Sue-spell) the sue patted her flower-laced headfur and glanced down at the pale blue dress that rippled and flowed about her like a waterfall, with the sleeves and waist bound with gold thread. Everybeast would be as perfect as her!

Several weeks later…

A tall, skinny squirrel was leaning on a warm red sandstone wall of Redwall Abbey, gripping a simple rapier in one paw, and an easygoing air about her, which vanished as soon as she spotted a dainty figure in the distance. She pushed the rapier into her belt, grasping her bow and drawing an arrow from her green quiver. Taking careful aim, she fitted the arrow into the bow, fired at the dancing figure, and…

In a shower of pink glitter and golden light caused the arrow to explode (as it was not Sue-proofed) and Redwin clapped a paw to her forehead. "Oh, shoo-"

"_**Who dares challenge me with feathered weapon? You shall meet your fate at the paws of-"**_

Redwin slammed her paws over her ears, dropping the bow. An impossibly loud, yet beautiful voice roared out across the Abbey grounds.

Redwin groaned. The Mary Sue. Snatching her rapier, she prepared for the attack-

"GRRRRRRREEEEEEAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!"

The Sue was running swiftly, brandishing a jewel encrusted golden sword with a diamond the size of a egg on it's hilt, the glowing blade was wide, and longer than the pretty squirrelmaid was tall.

Redwin dove out of the way of the slashing blade, grabbing Lunarraii's footpaws and pulling. Squealing, the Sue tripped gracefully, with a tragic scream.

"Oh slay me, foul creature, and let me die knowing my efforts were not in vain!"

Redwin stole a glance over her shoulder, and…

More sues. Muuuuch more sues.

Redwin twirled her rapier, and realized…

Lunarraii was gone.

How were there soooo many sues?

**[Flashback]**

_The gorgeous dark squirrel skipped through the forest, laughing a clear, bubbly laugh that rippled and flowed like a spring in springtime…_

"_How goes there!"_

_The maid halted, her eyes glowering dangerously. _

"_I, Lunarraii Moonlit Starrlyte Nytesky Moonbeauty Silverpaw Lytestarr Bleunyte Darkjewel Cloudtail Sparkleye Daarluna Midnyte the Beautiful!"_

"_Huh?"_

_A tall, burly otter emerged from a hidden cave, clutching a javelin. The squirrelmaid smiled in anticipation. She would start her plan._

_She sang softly, drawing nearer every moment, and…_

_The lovely squirrel placed a paw on the otter's forehead…_

_Poof! Stu._

_The otter was now extraordinarily tall, with sleek brown fur that shone, and deep sea green eyes, which gleamed like the ocean. His paws were the darkest ebony black, and the fur on his throat was a bright creamy gold. The otter's formerly drab grey tunic was replaced by a rich red one, the worn barkcloth belt was now snakeskin, with a gold buckle. Upon a circlet of gold a peacock feather was placed, and in place of a javelin, a massive sword was. The sword was gold with a silver hilt, rubies, diamonds, emeralds, amethysts, sapphires and topaz were inlaid all over it. _

_Lunarraii surveyed the otter, and pranced off, the glaze-eyed creature in her wake._

**[End of Flashback]**

Redwin, acting quickly, tore open a pack strapped to her belt, and yanked out a metal tin. She crinkled her nose as she opened it, for the stench was disgusting. Garlic, onion, mould, and durian (for those of you who do not know what durian is, it's an Asian fruit that smells so bad, it's not allowed in some public places, such as buses) were recognizable smells.

The squirrel dipped the end of her rapier into the paste, closed the tin, and prepared for the sues.

Where was Lunarraii?

On the walltops.

Leaving a trail of pink and purple sparklies in her wake.

Singing.

Thank goodness the poor birds weren't coming out of the trees.

Bewildered Abbeydwellers heard a beautiful voice, and…

Lunarraii was prancing closer to the stairway.

Redwin grabbed rope from her pack, a grappling hook attached to the end. She swung it over the wall, it latched on, she grasped the end of the rope, and climbed. Dangling in midair, she watched as Sues and Stus alike thundered closer and closer, and an overly sweet and sickening stench like that of roses but sickeninger (I don't think that was a word, but it is now!) filled the air. Swinging her rapier (the paste on the tip still stank horribly) she called,

"Sues! Don't you think you ought to leave? How can you stand yourselves?"

The Sues growled, and the Stus swung their blades and other weaponry, yelling, for they were much too perfect to snarl.

Redwin swung around, brandishing her rapier, and at the smell, the pack of Sues and Stus parted. Redwin sighed. Perhaps she could get Branche to come, or even Griffle. Maybe not Griffle. The mouse was probably on a more important mission.

The army of Sues and Stus were pressing closer, and some had swung grappling hooks over the walls. Redwin chopped down ropes a few with her Sue-proofed blade, and the Sues and Stus fell to the ground, Sues screaming tragically. Redwin threw the remaining ends of the grappling hooks that were still attached to the walltops down at the army.

Once she was satisfied that she had at least injured a few Stus and Sues, she reached into a pocket in her tunic and pulled out a small device, that resembled a smartphone, except that on the back, a normal sword was crossed with a Sue-sword, and in red letters above the swords, it said: The SueRidders.

Redwin pressed several buttons on it, then spoke into it.

"Griffle!"

"Eh, don't have to yell, Red." The voice was gruff, and sounded irritated.

"There's a Sue attack on Redwall, and we need you!"

"I can't, Redwin. I'm on-"

"Griffle! It's an _ARMY!_ Led by a squirrel Sue! I'm only an apprentice SueRidder! I can't deal with them on my own!"

"Army? Army? Big one?"

"Yes! Huge one!"

"Alright, then, on my way!"

"Please ask Branche to come with you!"

With that, she pressed another button, and the SueRidder phone disappeared into her pocket.

Fending off the sues, who were scaling the walls with amazing sueish speed, Redwin awaited her fellow SueRidders.

_Inside the Abbey…_

Martin cocked an ear towards the doorway. "I hear singing."

Gonff furrowed his brow. "Funny, nobeast sounds like that here, matey."

"Ooh, let me in! The horrible squirrel shall slay me! Help!"

Gonff reached for the doorknob. "Sounds like somebeast needs help."

Martin grabbed his paw. "They said horrible _squirrel_, mate. Squirrels are friends."

"Oh, why do you wait!" the tragic voice called.

Gonff cracked the door open slightly, peered out and his jaw dropped.

He sat there for a few moments, looking completely idiotic. Then he slammed the door shut, walked to the nearest wall, banged his head, and sat down on a nearby armchair, uncrossing his eyes.

Martin raised a skeptical eyebrow. "What was that all about?"

The mousethief croaked, "Sue."

Martin pulled a smartphone from his pocket and frantically dialed a number.

"Ooo, help me! Save me!" The delicate voice pleaded.

"Hello?" a voice sounded from Martin's phone.

"Martin the Warrior here, we need you!"

The SueRidder at the other end said, "Right. So you have a sue problem?"

"WHY ELSE WOULD I CALL YOU!"

"First of all, do NOT look at the Sue. Second, do NOT spea-"

"I KNOW! I KNOW! JUST GET ON OVER HERE!"

"Righto, Mr. Warrior. Sending over three SueRidders."

"GOOD!"

Martin shoved the phone back into his pocket, sighing.

"I only hope they can come fast enough."

"Be doo, badey, doo." Gonff said in a funny voice.

They covered their ears as Lunarraii screamed dire warnings.

_At the SueRidder headquarters…_

"Two calls! Two calls! From the same place!"

"Where, Hyule?"

"Redwall Abbey!"

"NOOOOO! NOT THE ABBEY! HAVEN'T THEY SUFFERED ENOUGH?"

Everbeast cried in unsion.

Acrove, a big burly otter, was the first to put his head in his paws and cry like a baby. He was soon followed by Liva, a pretty (not Sue) squirrel, Elzine who was a hedgehog in his middle seasons, and Wyn, an experienced SueRidder mouse.

Hyule, who was the SueRidder's leader, a sleek otter with a white scar from a long gone Suefight on his forearm, shifted awkwardly as he surveyed the scene that his news caused.

"Er, er, are we going to help them, er, um, or what?"

"YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!"

Everybeast cried in unsion again.

"Uh, okay."

He glanced at Acrove, Liva, Elzine and Wyn, who's tear streaked faces were upturned.

"Griffle and Branche are on their way, but I need five more, for there is a Sue and Stu army, and a Sue inside the Abbey. I will also need ten extra SueRidders. Some of ours are battling the Sues at Salamandastron, so who wants to go to Mossflower? And who wants to take Griffle's place at the mountain?"

All paws were raised, even the still teary Acrove, Liva, Elzine and Wyn's.

Soon, Hyule had two SueRidders to join Griffle and Branche.

Those were Acrove and a mole named Urrby.

And he had three to rid Martin and poor Gonff of the squirrel Sue.

They were Liva, Drall the albino mouse, and a black otter named Jeyla.

And ten extra SueRidders to be ready if needed.

Wyn, the otter twins Rim and Rin, a lanky hare named Tache, Reyla, the smart ferretmaid, Tallelm, a tall, lean squirrel, a mole named Drubb, mouse cousins Gertana and Rettel, and the dark otter, Reffa.

To take Griffle's place, there was,

Torc a mouse who came from the northlands, and the squirrel Elmni who they decided would be good to go along with Torc.

_At the abbey…_

Redwin dodged a golden Sue-arrow. The Sues and Stus, being Sues and Stus, had unnatural skill, and Redwin wanted to get back on the ground so she could stop ducking as arrows whistled past her and buried themselves in the stonewall. Only Sue arrows can do that.

There would be only one way to get to the ground without the Sues guessing what she was doing…

She leapt off the rope, gripping her rapier.

_In the Abbey…_

"AARRGGHH! WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO BE HERE!"

Martin roared for the gazillionth time as Lunarraii screamed (for she was much too perfect to screech),

"O WICKED WARRIORS! O MARTIN AND GONFF, WHY DO YOU LEAVE ME TO BE HUNTED DOWN BY THE CRUEL EV-GGRRRMMMMFFFF!"

There was a scuffling sound, like a fight, and Martin cracked the door open.

"STAY IN, MARTIN! SHE IS A SUE!"

Martin shut the door.

"Looks like they're here."

Gonff looked much happier.

"Good, good, badey!"

"Umm, do you really have that funny voice? Are you tricking me?"

"Doe! Dod fagingk!"

"Huh?"

"Oh, devah bind!"

"Uhh.."

Gonff made a face at his friend.

Martin was too absorbed pressing his ear against the door to notice. He wanted to hear the fight being fought on the other side.

"AAAAAAAIIIIII!"

"GRRRMMMFFFFF! GERROFF, SUE!"

"NOT A SUE! JUST EXTROARDINARILY BEAU-AAAAAAIIIII!"

"WWHHOOOAAAA!"

_**KER-WHUMP!**_

* * *

**Chapter II**

**Sues and Stus**

Coming May 2nd, 2012!

* * *

_Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it! Like I said before, PLEASE review! It is Really, really, really, really,REALLY appreciated! A lot! And, if you want to know more about Redwin,(my alter ego) visit my profile! And please do not hold back on the constructive criticism!  
_

_-FresianRoses  
_


	2. Sues and Stus

Hello Everybody!

Thank you, Lord Vrel, TaggerungGirl, and ferretWARLORD, for your reviews! Glad you like it!

Anyway, enjoy! And please review!

The Redwall Sues Book I: The Start of It All

Chapter II

Sues and Stus

Or

Giant Teddy Bears!

Or

Things are getting Hopeless

Or

If I Continue To Name This, You Shall Know Everything That Happens In It

_**Ker-whump!**_

Martin jumped, in fright, eight feet in the air, banged his head on the stone ceiling with an audible _Bonkk!_, and came down, seeing stars. Gonff also jumped at the sound, but, being heavier than Martin, only jumped five feet, which is still impressive.

"WHAT ON SALAWHATSIT WAS THAT!" The warrior roared, after recovering from both shock and banged head (the magic of fanfiction allowed his head to be entirely whole and well)

Gonff's voice was back, and he said rather cheerfully, "Don't have a clue, matey. Let's find out!" He skipped to the door, and yanked it open, regardless of what might be out there…

_Outside the Abbey…_

Redwin dodged the seemingly endless sea of shiny blades, until she finally reached the end of the Sue pack. She sat down, reaching for her bag with the anti-Sue paste in it, and suddenly leapt up.

"Yes! Griffle! Branche!"

The two SueRidders jumped into the melee, yelling, followed by Redwin.

_At the SueRidder headquarters…_

Hyule shouted himself hoarse at a sue, who was attempting to call him.

The SueRidder smartphone was held at arm's length away from the otter's face, and he bellowed,

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! STOP TRYING TO CALL ME! I AM NEVER QUITTING MY JOB, NO! NO! AND I AM NOT GOING TO CONVINCE MY SUERIDDERS TO QUIT THEIR JOBS! NO! NO!"

With that, Hyule broke down into tears of frustration, pressing a button on his phone. The phone immediately went blank, and the lovely sue-voice was cut off.

A SueRidder, Jekk, an ebony mouse, and asked,

"What's the matter, boss?"

"A Sue was trying to get us to quit our jobs!"

Jekk blinked.

"Really?"

"YEEEEEEEEESSSS!"

_Inside the Abbey…_

Gonff ripped the door open, and…

A giant teddy bear had come crashing down on everybeast's head.

Giant fluffy teddy bear.

Liva was emerging beneath the head, grumbling, and Jeyla was kicking it's paw off her head. Drall was nowhere to seen. Lunarraii was fleeing down a staircase, and Jeyla yelled,

"NOOOOOO!"

and thundered after her.

Drall's voice came from around the middle of the teddy bear.

"Mmmff! Grrmmff! Pfft! Rrmph!"

Liva, Martin and Gonff pulled the bear off the mouse.

They all began talking at once, even Martin.

"What on earth was that?"

"How did it come crashing down like that?"

A loud voice came booming out-

"THE MAGIC OF FANFICTION! THAT'S HOW!"

Then the voice was gone.

They were silent.

A second giant teddy bear came crashing down, sandwiching the creatures in between it and the first one.

"Grrmmfft! Brrffft! Crmmff!"

_Outside the Abbey…_

Branche was contacting the SueRidder headquarters.

"There are more than we have ever dealt with. We need more SueRidders, besides the two you promised to send."

Hyule nodded.

"Sounds like a lot. I'll just send all the ones who are ready."

"Thank you."

Rim and Rin, Reffa, Drubb, Gertana, Rettel, Tallelm, Tache, Wyn, and Reyla went off, their faces set in a grim expression.

Reffa gulped uneasily. "Everybeast, GET OUT YER WEAPONS! NOW!"

Gripping their swords, bows, staff and spears, all Sue-proofed, they turned around…

Sues.

Stus.

Everwhere.

_Outside the Abbey…_

"I called the SueRidder headquarters. They're sending over more SueRidders."

"Good, Branche, we can't hold these guys off for much longer…"

Redwin dodged a swirling gold sword, attempting the same trick she had pulled on Lunarraii…

The mouse she was dealing with kicked her in the face.

"GRRRRAAARRR!"

She lashed out with her rapier…

And the mouse blocked it with a second sword that appeared out of nowhere. The Stu was now brandishing two swords, gargantuan blades, one gold and one silver, both studded with millions on jewels, some the size of eggs, and some the size of ants.

The mouse himself was encased in perfectly fitting gold armor, with a long green, swirling cape. The armor was so covered in giant, flawless, richly colored gems, that the only normal creature who would have been able to carry it for more than a minute was a Badger Lord.

His plumed helm was thrown back, revealing a handsome face with carefully chiseled features, and eyes that gleamed black, like polished onyx.

Redwin snarled, losing a little temper. The mouse swirling the flashing blades smiled, revealing rows of perfect teeth, like polished pearls.

She slashed at the handsome face, only to be deflected again. Hoping to catch him off guard, she leapt in the air, and swept her rapier downwards.

The flawless mouse blocked her with the swirling swords, and Redwin sighed unhappily. This stu was a tough one.

She heard Branche give a shout of exasperation. "Where are the SueRidders Hyule said he'd send over?"

_In the Abbey…_

"Grrmph! Rrrfft! Gmff! Ffft!"

The mousethief, Abbey warrior, and SueRidders struggled underneath the teddy bear, making odd noises.

Gonff was the first to free himself, and he danced a jig of relief.

"Yesyesyesyesyes! Freedom!"

"Grrmmfft!"

Martin came next, and sighed at his friend.

"Since you're _free,_ you could've _helped."_

Then he gave the teddy bear a yank, but the stuffed creature didn't budge.

Liva and Drall freed themselves without too much difficulty, and the four immediately yelled,

"AFTER THE SUE!"

And ran, a bit late, in the direction Jeyla and the Sue took. Then…

A third teddy bear, this time sparkly and pink, thumped down on them.

"IT'S RAINING GARGANTUAN TEDDY BEARS!" Was all Gonff had time to shriek, as it sped towards him.

_In the Mossflower wood…_

Reyla gazed at the Sues surrounding them.

There was something odd about them. Somehow, they looked more…Sueish and floaty.

A lithe young fox with pale silver violet wavy fur wore a robe that resembled silver spun to a liquid cloth, with clear purple velvety eyes that shone like amethysts, the longest ebony lashes, a belt the color of ripe grapes, a crescent shaped mark beneath each eye, and flawless features. But something, _something, _stirred in the ferret's mind, that awoke a deep feeling of dread…

That's when it hit her. They were Sue Spirits. A golden light radiated from them, and they were more insubstantial than other Sues. The horrors floated above the ground and shimmered.

Reyla recognized the first Stu she had destroyed, a mousemaid with bronze fur even shinier than most sues, eyes like amethysts laced with gold, silver paws and a slim waist, like all sues.

The Sue glared at her with revenge in her jewel like eyes, and a gold spear tipped with a sharp shard of amethyst.

The ferretmaid gripped her spear tighter, even though she knew the weapon would be useless against the Sues and Stus. Dealing with Sue Spirits was for Elites. Not young ferrets just out of Apprenticeship. Reyla reached for the SueRidder phone, and instantly the mouse said in a clear fluty voice,

"No, Reyla."

The ferret swelled with indignation. How dare she address her, using her name! How dare she figure out with Sue powered brain that she was about to contact the SueRidder headquarters!

But all she could do was glare in outrage at the perfect mouse in front of her.

Rim and Rin's faces were set in identical expressions of grim acceptance. They were outnumbered by not just Sues, but Sue Spirits. They recognized a few they had destroyed together, and a few that their friends had destroyed. The lithe gorgeous squirrel who died an apparently 'tragic' death at the paws of the twin's friend, a mouse named Floret (who was enchanted by a strong Sue spell a season back), the mouse with bright strikingly green eyes, and the fox maid who had a coat like polished ebony and perfect golden paws.

The onyx fox with gold paws advanced, vengeance gleaming in her gorgeous eyes like sapphires, twirling a giant gold sword.

The five gave a despairing glance at one another, and prepared for the inevitable…

_Inside the Abbey..._

Gonff freed himself first, then Martin, then the two SueRidders.

Liva immediately buried her face in her paws and began sobbing.

Martin glanced at her, puzzled.

"What's the matter?"

"W-we l-l-los-st the S-sue!"

"Well, we can go after her..."

"YEEEESSSSS!"

The squirrelmaid leapt up, and sped down the stairs, the others making feeble attempts to catch up with her.

_In a different part of the Abbey…_

Jeyla sighed. The Sue was certainly fast.

Lunarraii sped onwards, driven by the amazing Suepower in her. Her breath was neither hoarse, nor was it ragged, and she did not even break a sweat. Even though she was traveling at around 50 mph.

Jeyla raced onwards, not letting the Sue out of her sight for an instant. Where were Drall and Liva? She cannoned into Branche, who was searching for Martin. "Jeyla! You're here! Why-" She broke off as the otter said, "Sorry, marm! Can't stop to chat!" and raced off.

Branche knew what Jeyla was chasing, by the concentrated gleam in her eyes. It could only be a Sue.

"Oh, no. NOT MORE!"

The squirrel yelled in exasperation.

_In the Wood…_

"YAAAAHH!"

Gertana and Rettel yelled in unision, as the Sue Spirits closed in on them.

Gertana lashed out with her simple steel sword as the squirrel she had destroyed in her apprentice years reached a silvery paw towards her. The mousemaid screamed as the Spirit touched her paw to Gertana's brow.

"AAAAAIIII!"

Glittery pink and silver lights obscured her vision, and a fluid feeling spread through her limbs...

Suddenly, strong thin paws reached and clamped around her waist, heaving her upwards and away…

"Run as fast as y'can, miss! Call ol' Hyule, and tell him all!"

Gertana felt herself sail over the fighting crowd, and land in a crumpled heap in the forest floor. She opened her eyes.

Her cousin, Rettel, was bravely fending off a broad, muscular squirrel with fur of golden copper, and she heard Reyla yell horribly.

Fumbling for her phone, she clutched her sword closer. As she picked the SueRidder phone from her pocket, she saw Drubb disappear behind a beautiful haremaid.

She punched the SueRidder headquarter number with increasing urgency.

Hyule's exasperated voice came from the device.

"What now? Somebeast forgot to bring their wea-"

"NOO! HYULE, IT'S SUE SPIRITS!" The mousemaid roared at the top of her lungs.

"W-w-what? N-not-t S-sue S-sp-pir-rit-tss?"

Gertana screamed into the phone.

"EXACTLY! AND THERE'S ONLY TWO ELITES HERE! WYN AND TACHE!"

There was a dull thudding sound at the other end, and the connection was lost entirely.

The mousemaid barely had time to think, and…

Strong, lean, scarlet paws clamped over her mouth.

"We meet again SueRidder mousemaiden."

* * *

Chapter III

**Things are looking Bleak (if they don't already)  
**

Coming May 8th, 2012!

* * *

_Author's Note: Thank you for reading! This was a fun chapter to write, and I hope you enjoyed it. What do you think of the Sue Spirits? What do you think about the giant teddy bears? Did you like it? Please review! _

_-FresianRoses  
_


	3. Things are Looking Bleak

Hello All! Third chapter! Yay! Okay, here come the disclaimers...

I don't own Redwall, I do own Redwin (yay!) And I do own the Sues. All of them. Bleah. And I do not own...

Lord Vrel! A new character, Lord Vrel's. If you want to read about Vrel, go to Lord Vrel's profile.

Thank you soo much, TaggerungGirl, Lord Vrel and FerretWARLORD for reviewing! I really appreciate it!

Well, here it goes...

The Redwall Sues Book I: The Start of it All

Chapter III

Things are Looking Bleak (if they don't already)

Or

New character that isn't mine!

Or

I Don't Know What Else to Name This Chapter, So I'll Name It This

_Outside the Abbey…_

Redwin shouted to Griffle,

"Where's Branche?"

"Inside the Abbey, looking for Martin!"

"GAAH!"

A Sue sprang out of the melee, aiding the perfect Stu with two swords, against Redwin.

"NOT MORE!"

Redwin fought desperately, leaping out of range of the swirling blades. The pair followed her, as she dodged a glittering mace.

She sighed, knowing she could not escape the two. The mousemaid yelled angrily,

"You evil squirrel! Remember the time you destroyed my twin? You shall pay!"

Redwin did remember, and she saw the likeness between the two. The silver fur, the paws with star markings, the giant amber eyes…

The Stu and Sue twirled their blades, every move the Stu made was also made by the Sue. The identical movements made Redwin dizzy, and she eventually yelled in frustration, "Oh, move it, c'mon!"

_At the SueRidder headquarters…_

Hyule opened his eyes to find Jekk and Redore, a tall, lean squirrel, leaning over him.

"You okay, boss? You fainted."

Hyule cringed as a flood of memories surged back.

"Yes, I'm fine, Jekk. Maybe."

Jekk's expression registered confusion.

"Maybe? Maybe?"

Redore raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean, _maybe?"_

Hyule buried his face in his paws and screeched,

"SUE SPIRITS ARE ATTACKING! NOOOO!"

Jekk and Redore stared at him.

"Surely you don't mean-"

"Not _them-"_

"You have got to be kidding, boss-"

"Never, ever would I-"

"Just stressed out-"

"Too many things happening-"

"Even the readers got confused-"

"Yeah, really-"

"NOOOO! I AM NOT KIDDING! I AM NOT OVERLY STRESSED OUT! Well, maybe I am…"

"Yeah, boss, too stressed out and confused!"

"Wait…no, not confused! Gertana just called me, and she told me that Sue Spirits are in Mossflower, tainting it with perfect evil!"

"Oh, no. NOOOOO!"

Redore yelled in exasperation and terror, as Hyule and Jekk clamped their paws over their ears.

_At the Abbey…_

Griffle shouted at the flawless mouse in front of him, as she twirled a shimmering blade twelve feet long.

The mouse was dressed in a glittery blue tunic with long purple sleeves that swirled with every move she made. Her eyes were like a diamond rimmed with a crimson gold shade. Other than that, she was the typical sue, tiny paws, waist, blah blah blah…

_A different part of the Abbey grounds…_

Redwin swung her beat up rope with the grappling hook onto the walls. If she could get out of the way, she then would sue-proof her arrows…

She climbed until she was nearly at the top of the walls, and she grabbed an arrow, preparing to sue-proof it. The red squirrel unscrewed the tin lid of her disgusting paste, and dipped an arrow in it. She grimaced at the stench, and was careful not to get it on her paws. The last time she had accidentally touched it, the scent stayed for weeks.

Redwin let the paste dry a little, then fitted it in her bow, and took careful aim at the mouse Sue attacking Griffle. She squinted down, eyeing her swift quarry. The red squirrel pulled the bowstring taut, and…

Splat!

An overly bright pink liquid infected with the sparklies lay where the Sue was previously. Griffle glanced up at Redwin and gave her a small grin of approval and thanks, then launched himself at a sleek gold otter with a bejeweled pike.

Redwin dipped an arrow in the paste, and allowed it to harden a little before fitting it into her bowstring, choosing a fox the shade of the sky on a moonless night, with a crescent moon on each cheek. She drew her arm back, released, and…missed entirely.

The fox Sue leapt out of the arrow's path, screaming in apparent fright.

"YEEEK!"

The Sues stared up at the dangling squirrel, and drew out giant bows and fitted them with equally giant arrows.

Redwin sped up the rope, climbing as fast as she possibly could. She could feel the Sues eyeing her, drawing bows and arrows, preparing to shoot.

She made it up in time, for as soon as she vaulted over the walltops, arrows rained down around her. Redwin ran out of range of the glittery arrows, and prepared some arrows with the paste.

_At the SueRidder headquarters…_

Hyule sighed. He'd have to get ten more SueRidders to send to the Abbey. No, five Elites to help in the Sue Spirit battle, and several to aid Redwin, Griffle and Branche in the fight at the Abbey.

He left his office, and out to the meeting room unhappily. He'd have to call the SueRidders out, and hope that their courage didn't undermine entirely. Wait, what was he thinking. They were brave…with unease, Hyule remembered Acrove, Wyn, Elzine and Liva's reaction to the news he had brought that morning.

He pulled the rope attached to a bell, and SueRidders came flooding in.

They seated themselves around a large round table, worry etched in their faces. Hyule glanced at the empty seats. Redwin, Griffle, Branche, Liva, Jeyla, Drall, Torc, all those who left.

But there was one extra seat empty. Hyule raised his eyebrows, and asked, "Who is missing?"

Everybeast shrugged, looking a bit confused.

Suddenly, the wooden doors opened, and something landed neatly on the very center of the table. A pair of crossed katanas.

There was a flash of blue light, and everybeast turned to see what was happening.

The light cleared, revealing a brown furred, broad shouldered squirrel in a blue silk shirt, scarlet cape, and a purple hat. He bowed theatrically, a smile on his handsome face.

"Ah, Lord Vrel, thank you for attending the meeting."

The squirrel responded, "Of course, Hyule. Why would I not?"

He retrieved his katanas with a slight flourish, and seated himself in the chair beside Rellyne, a pretty young red squirrel.

Rellyne gave Lord Vrel a shy smile, and he smiled back at her as he tucked the pair of weapons into his belt.

Hyule licked his lips nervously.

"We, er, have a, uh, _problem."_

Everybeast sat up a little straighter, listening to the leader's words intently.

"Er, Vien, have the SueSensors been working?"

Vien, a small skinny otter, shook his head. "They've been crazy lately, and I have absolutely no clue as to what's happening to 'em."

Hyule nodded. "Exactly. Sue Spirits are abroad, attacking the ten I sent to Redwall. I have no idea what happened to the others we sent to aid Griffle, Branche, and Redwin. You know, Acrove and Urrby."

Everybeast nodded, and Lord Vrel said, "Well, what are we going to do then? They aren't going to disappear on their own."

Hyule said, "True. We will have to send some to help at the Abbey, and some to assist against the Sue Spirits."

"Who will go to Mossflower to fight the Sue Spirits?"

A few paws were raised, but not many.

First, there was a tall, thin ferret named Terrat, training to be an Elite.

Then, Jonna, a small, skinny otter with light brown fur, and Rronde, a tall, muscular squirrel with silvery gray fur.

Last, a young hedgehog of medium height named Bwen and a muscular otter named Elrugg. All were Elites except Terrat, who was still training.

They quickly gathered up their weapons, garlic spray, and bag of SueRidder supplies, then left.

"Now, who will join Redwin, Griffle and Branche?"

This time, many paws were raised, including the scarlet gloved one of a certain brown furred squirrel.

First, the dashing Lord Vrel, who tossed the katanas into the air, where they crossed for a moment, before the squirrel caught them with ease, and Ullane, a slender young mouse.

After them, there were the mouse siblings Gerti and Mila.

Then, Elquine, a short lanky haremaid, Hevre, an Apprentice squirrel, and Burree, a plump mole.

Last came Drea, a young red squirrel maid just out of her Apprentice years.

They eight left the room to gather supplies for the battle ahead.

_At the Abbey…_

Redwin gingerly stepped over the Sue arrows, her bow ready. She dodged another hail of arrows, and went over to the edge of the walltops, hiding behind the battlements. Redwin pulled the string taut, and decided between a fox Stu or otter Sue. She chose the otter, figuring that it could do the most damage. The red squirrel took aim, and released the arrow.

Bang!

The former otter Sue exploded into an overly bright cloud of purple, (infected with the sparklies, of course) and golden glitter. Redwin frowned, staring at the cloud. It took the shape of an otter, and would have floated away up into the skies (which were now a mixture of pale azure and bright sea green, shimmering with the Sue disease spewing from the horde) had not Griffle thrown a well-aimed garlic-coated rock at it.

Redwin ducked another shower of arrows, scrambling desperately out of the way. Even the tiniest cut would mean Suedom. She grabbed another arrow, and fitted it in the bow.

_On the Abbey grounds…_

Griffle's sword was slowly becoming normal. Not Sue proofed any more, the blade would be hacked to bits by the unnatural Sue power in the gleaming gold swords of the Sues. It was already suffering a few chips and nicks. He took a moment to grab garlic spray from his bag and mist it onto his weapon's blade.

A ferret Stu hurled himself at the SueRidder, only to be sprayed with the garlic oil. The Stu slowly melted into an oily shimmery pink pool of liquid, and Griffle stepped over him. Too bad he didn't have enough garlic oil to use as a weapon against the Sues. It would be good defense.

Griffle's satisfied expression froze into one of horror as he watched the distance.

More Sue hordes. Many more.

_On the walltops…_

Redwin gazed about at the former normal Abbey. The grass was now a clear shade of emerald green, and the flowers that dotted the grounds were now jewel like colors, and their number had increased. The red sandstone walls were now shimmery, and the color was richer and deeper.

Sparkly, shimmery, pearly clouds graced the sky, now shades of pale azure, rich sea green, and shimmering hues of ocean blue. The bark of the trees was now a perfect mahogany, and the leaves were deep colors of jade. The Redwallers were barricaded in their Abbey, so the Sues could not get in. But unfortunately, there was one, and hopefully Branche was hunting her down.

Even the very air had taken on a glittery, unreal quality, and a scent like violets, lilies, roses and who knows what else hovered in the air, dangerous to breath in for too long.

Redwin sighed, wishing the SueRidders that Hyule promised to send would be there soon.

A Sue arrow sped past her, and she leapt to the side as it whistled by.

_At the SueRidder headquarters…_

Hyule stepped into a dark room, with a computer on a desk in the back of it. Several SueRidders were crowded around it, frowning. Hyule asked them, "Can I see the damage?" The crowd parted, nodding.

The computer let off shrieking noises, and red lights flashed from it. On the screen, it said,

**Error**

**Cannot detect normal Sues.**

**Something is wrong.**

**Very wrong.**

**Do something about it, idiots!**

Hyule grabbed the mouse, and clicked on green underlined letters, SueCam. The screen immediately turned fuzzy and red, then a message appeared:

**Cannot retrieve video from camera. **

**Something is messing with it.**

**Please try again later.**

Hyule sighed. "It can't detect Sue Spirits. They mess it up." The creatures around him nodded.

_At the Abbey…_

Redwin downed another Sue with an arrow. As it exploded into a liquid of solid crimson gold (infected with the sparklies, of course) she sighed. They couldn't hold off the oncoming tidal wave of Sues and Stus for much longer. She glanced at the forest, hoping…

Eight figures that definitely were not Sues emerged form the woods. Redwin yelled in relief as they fought off a gold squirrel Sue and defeated her. Redwin attached the grappling hook to the wall, and slid down the rope, fighting off the gales of Sues as she made her way to the others.

The eight were led by a broad shouldered squirrel she recognized as Lord Vrel, the famously good-looking SueRidder who fought with a pair of katanas. The seven others followed him, all valiantly trying to fight off a muscular fox that was obviously a warlord Stu. The Stu danced about, twirling his blade in a disgustingly perfect way.

The Stu's fur gleamed black as the stormy moonless night, and his deep, dark poisonously green eyes glittered with righteousness. He was surprisingly tall and broad, and he wore a rich red tunic and dark black boots. His tunic was embroidered with threads of pure gold, and on his head sat a thin gold crown studded with diamonds and who knows what other gems, so flawlessly perfect that they practically glowed.

Redwin saw Griffle battling a ferret Sue, and she shouted, "They're here! The ones Branche sent for!"

Griffle smiled in relief, before returning to the Sue he was attacking.

The SueRidders spread out a bit before starting the battle. Lord Vrel blocked the Stu's blade with his katanas, and watched for the fox's next move. The stu spun his giant gold jewel encrusted sword in a disgustingly perfect fashion, and as the blade swung down to slash the squirrel, Vrel lashed out with a garlic coated katana, and the Stu fell, exploding into silver goop.

Vrel wiped the silvery goo off his weapon on the grass, and sought out another sue to destroy.

Redwin grasped her rapier, watching the Sue mousemaid as she circled around her. The strikingly beautiful Sue was saying, "You know your case is hopeless. You see our warriors battling on, unwearied and flawless as ever. You cannot hope to best us."

Redwin snarled. "Oh yeah? Looks like we've been doing a good job of it so far." She gestured at the remains of the Stu that Lord Vrel had destroyed.

Instead of growling in displeasure, the white mouse smiled, revealing lines of perfect teeth, shining like pearls in a sunset.

"Look behind you."

Redwin decided not to do so, feeling it was a trap, until Griffle shouted.

"NOOOO! ACROVE! OH NOOO!"

Redwin leapt out of range of the Sue blade, and looked over the heads of the sues, to see…

Acrove.

Was.

A.

Stu.

* * *

Chapter IV

**A New Evil Sue**

Coming May 12th, 2012!

* * *

_Author's Note: Did you like this one? I hope you did, and hey, Lord Vrel, if there are any improvements I make to Vrel, please PM me. Anyways, if there are any of you out there who want your alter ego in this fic, please PM me. But only if you do not mind being bombarded with questions, or have at least 2 fanfics with the alter ego in it. _

_I would REALLY, **Really ** appreciate reviews, and I hope you like this!  
_


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